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Tuesday, 11 April 2006
what the hell...
Now Playing: dripping, not sure what that is
Don't know. Haven't got a clue, really. What happened. That's what. And it makes less sense, the more information I get. I was more or less okay a year ago,and a year before that.
Now, I'm just a friggin' loon. Anyone who thought I was a loon before, wrong. That was just gas. Vapors. Jello. This is something different, and I have no point of comparison for this. It hurts.
Yesterday, okay, for an hour or two. Just fine. Worked outside in the yard. Grass, dirt undernails, okay. Nothing bad there. Okay. Fine there, fine. Nothing wrong there, and it all went okay.
Then back inside, and the walls licked at me as I walked in. The door closed, and its teeth clicked. I got sucked into the chair, which I no longer beleive can leave here. It can, but only if it is replaced.
I ahd more energy when I weighed more. but that's because I still ate then.
Now I drink, and drink more, and pills pills pills. Viotamins. Antidepressants. Depressants. Sleeping pills. I have a fucking pharmacy here. Some of these I am not supposed to be taking anymore, and I sure as hell am not supposed to be mixing any of these with any of those.
Pressure.. it never gets better. It's hard for anyone else to see, they don't... I don't, we don't have gauges. A geo metro might be able to race a ford mustang briefly, but the gauges would show that something is wrong. I try, I try to keep up, but there are no gauges on me, so nobody gets it.
We don't know what is going on in there when we look at each other. Or if we are all wired the same, or even similar, or completely different each time on of us rolls off the assembly line.
I need gauges.
I'm fucked.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 10:13 PM CDT
Tuesday, 4 October 2005
Fuck it all
Now Playing: Mastodon: Leviathan
No matter what, I am never going to be anything more or less than a pissed off single white male.
Never, never, never. Don't deserve anything more than what I am. Lord have mercy on you all, because I am as pissed , single, and white as I have ever been.
Watch your back.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 4:42 PM CDT
Thursday, 4 August 2005
WEW
Now Playing: William Elliot Whitmore
I saw Clutch last night, and they were, as usual, fucking amazing. But the unexpected highlight of the evening for me was the opening performer, a solo guy with his banjo. His name was William Elliot Whitmore, and he impressed the fuck out of me. His voice was that of a man who has been gargling with gravel, whiskey, and broken glass for twenty years. Songs about god by way of Mississippi and a long road through hell. GODDAMN I dig this guy. I don't know if you're into that sort of time, it's old school blues/bluegrass/county by someone who paid attention in school. He was missing a tooth, had tattoos all of up his arms, and was polite, grateful, and courteous to the crowd which wasn't there to see him. And by midway through his first song, the crowd was in his fuckin' corner. I will see him again without a second thought. I am sledom this impressed by any perormer/band, and I feel obligated to pass on the info. If you hear him, and don't like him... Fuck you.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 11:05 PM CDT
Sunday, 24 July 2005
My ass
Now Playing: Clutch :
Oh this burning beard, I have come undone.
Well, my Mom isn't doing so hot as many of you know, and thanks for your kind words on that subject. But hell, she's tough as hell, she'll probably prove the doctors wrong and bury us all. i can only hope.
So, here I am here I am here I am. Sweaty as a motherfucker, and man, my ass has more zits than the cafe court at your local mall on a Saturday afternoon. This humidity is getting on my tits something fierce. It's like 99 degrees with 100% humidity, a heat index of 110. What the hell. I drove through Arizona when it was 110, and motherfuck that was a lot less miserable than this. I saw a midget melt across the street earlier, all that was left of the poor little bastard were his pointy shoes. This ain't right. Humans are not meant to live in these conditions, and I can only hope I'm right about that. I mean, yeah, I'm worried about my Mom, but that's personal. But if random people start dropping on account of this heat and what not, all the better for my non-existent progeny. i was just discussing worst case scenarios a few days back, and you know, some scholarly twats have come up with a figure of some 50 billion, that's right, BILLION, 9 friggin' zeros following the number fifty, 50 billion human scum wandering the face of this pestilential mudball, nah, fuckthat, shit hole we call Earth. Third stone from the sun covered with 50 BILLION sinners by the year 2050 if we don't throw a few more condoms at the third world. Now, that's a worst case scenario, but hey, i wouldn't be surprised. But I promise you this, Jack, I am NOT gonna live to see that. Sure, in 2050, I would only be what, 79? Not that old. But I'm gonna tell you right now, when we get to 20 billion, if we do in my lifetime, I am shooting myself in the fucking head, because I refuse to share my space with that many ignorant hairless monkeys. Hell, I might do it if we reach 15 billion. Did you know that China slowed down, dropped under a billion, and got passed by India? China was at a billion 20 years ago, India was at 750 million. Now China is under a billion, and India is over a billion. Wear fucking condoms, ya buncha sacred cow non-eating motherfuckers. Christ, I know damend well you're not Catholic. At this rate, the subcontinent is gonna split from Asia. the wieght of all that stupidity is gonna drag India away.
But back to my ass. It's hot here. Hotter than a dockers armpit. Man, I am sitting at my computer and I am not sweating bullets, I'm sweating mortar rounds. Hell, friggin' artillery shells are dripping offa my forehead at an alarming rate. I've been through half a case o' Blatz in the last hour and I ain;t drunk.
OR AM i? o HELL, CAPS LOCK GOT STUCK!!!!!!!!!
Posted by seshoemaker
at 6:36 PM CDT
Updated: Sunday, 24 July 2005 6:37 PM CDT
Tuesday, 12 July 2005
Done
I know I just started doing this again, but some things are more important. I just got some really horrible news, and I'm done with this for now, maybe for good. Please don't email me to ask me why. Just accept that have other things in my life which are a lot more important right now, and can't do this right now.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 7:25 PM CDT
Stewing
Now Playing: Rage, anger, and hate
I could, without blinking, tear someones body limb from limb right now. So don't fuck with me.
Yeah, YOU, dammit. I wouldn't even feel bad a week from now if I did such an abominable horrid thing. I'd walk up to the fucker in a week and slap them in the face with their own dead rotting hand. Why?
Because I'm stewing, that's why. Pissed off stewing. Ready to smite something, that's what I am. Ball of bile and spit and puke, me. ooh, I am so full of meanness I could smash a motherfuckers teeth in. Hell, if somebody doesn't show up, I might do my own outta spite. Cunt faced buncha haggard old douchewads. Oh I'm vexxed. Oh, the putrid sore I am right now. Maggot ridden monkey sack is me, FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I am pissed off, fucko. Don't even ask, because if you ask, I'll riddle you with holes. Not even bullet holes, I'm of a mind, I'm in such a state, such a right ornery mood I'd puncture you like fifty sixty seventy times with a god-friggin' dull spoon I'm so perturbed.
Damn I'm irritated. Ooh.
Piss on ya'll, I'm pissed, and don't mind saying so. Oh, the state I am in. Oh. Oh oh oh oh OH! I am riled up.
Okay, maybe not quite that bad, but I'm sure as shit not very happy, I'll tell you what.
But don't ask.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 5:46 PM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 12 July 2005 5:48 PM CDT
Blast him!
Now Playing: Soundgarden : Like Suicide, accoustic
Hunter S. Thompson's ashes are going to be blasted from a cannon. BLASTED FROM A FUCKING CANNON, BY GOD. Now that, in my opinion, is a good way to deal with one's mortal remains. Your friends gather, have a few drinks, and then they BLAST YOUR ASS FROM A BY-GOD CANNON!!! Now that is a fucking send off.
Other than that, nothing to report. When I die, blast me from a cannon. Not my ashes, though. Stuff my corpse into one of those circus cannons and fire me at a wall, keep stuffing me in until there is nothing left but a gooey lump, then leave me for the crows. Drink beer and look at the gooey lump until you puke.
Ah, fuck it, chuck me in a ditch and piss on me. Have a bottle of Cisco and complain about what a fuck I was, then go have a White Castle.
Or just leave me wherever I fall and get on with your day to day business. I'm reasonably sure that I really couldn't give a rip at that point.
I do like the cannon idea, though.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 3:11 PM CDT
Monday, 11 July 2005
Sovereign.
Now Playing: tick-tick-tick-tick-tick....
So, evidently, North Korean officials and U.S. officials sat down to a steak and cheesecake dinner to work out some kind of agreement. From the start, North Korean officials made clear to their U.S. dinner companion what was on their mind: assurances the U.S. had no plans to attack and that it recognized North Korea's sovereignty.
Well, a warning to North Korea on whether or nout the United States govt. understands sovereignty...
"Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a — you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." —President Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
Soveriegn. I'm soveriegn a hangover right now, I'll tell you what.
Oh, pun-ish me.
Kill me now.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 2:55 PM CDT
Sunday, 10 July 2005
Out of smokes
Now Playing: Some wheedling guitar bit from new Megadeth album is stuck in my head and I want it GONE
I don't own the new Megadeth. I downloaded it and deleted it. Didn't care for it. Blech. Mustaine, you don't even deserve #2 status. That distinction, you red-headed-step-child of Metallica, should belong to Slayer. You got lucky. Whiny little dink.
That was nothing. Ignore that.
I ran out of cigarettes last night, well, this morning really. Now I have cigarettes. There were a few tense hours, I'll say that. I hunted down all the usuable butts in the house. Some were weeks old. Dry. Horrible wretched things, but I smoked them. Oh yes, I did. Hey, speaking of smoking, I found a video clip of California's current Governor smoking a joint. As far as I can tell, it's real. he has a large plate of brownies in his lap. It's funny stuff. Wish I could remember where I found it. I was pulling an all nighter last night for no good reason. Just sitting up and stinking and smoking all night, couldn't sleep. Watched hours of funny, semi funny, and not even remotely funny video clips that I found all over the internets. Amusingly, all of the clips of George W. drunk wouldn't play. Hmm.
Damn, I think this finger might be broken.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 11:23 AM CDT
Wednesday, 6 July 2005
High Falutin' Like A....
Now Playing: nothing, but Mother Love Bone is playing in my head
Dog. Shit.
Dog shit.
Dead lawn. Pissed on dead lawn. Dogs pissed on my live grass.
Dead lawn. Deader than dog shit. Yellow. Paid for that grass, watered that grass, grew that grass. So some cunt could let their cunt of a dog piss on it and kill it. Shit dog. Shit dog owner. I want to sit on my porch with a slingshot. Shoot the dog walkers. Let your fucking mongrel piss in your living room and ruin your fucking carpet. Let it shit in your lawn and piss on your lawn until there is no green left. Quit walking around letting your fucking cur leave tiny little blighted patches in it's wake. Asshole with a dog. Dog with an asshole. Shit. Shit comes out the asshole of the dog of the asshole piece of shit. And My lawn which I paid for pays for it. I paid for this? For dead yellow blighted grass? No, fuckface dog walker, I did not pay for dead yellow grass. I paid for green grass. Bright green grass. i liked it when the neighbors came by and said "Your lawn looks great." Post dog piss dead yellow blight, they say nothing. Nothing. And my grass is dead.
Graveyard dog shit dead.
Posted by seshoemaker
at 5:54 PM CDT
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